poem mastery lvl 2

i thought i was dead

i thought it's an never ending emptiness

alone in my bed

can't myself but just to feel depressed

and then i saw your smile

i dont know why i felt alright

can we talk for awhile

yeah, can you stay with me all night

you gave me a reason to live

for you everything i will give

you showed me how to be true

and now this song goes for you

to you i will say

forever and ever i will stay this way

i'll wait for the day

to be with you is what i always pray

i want to hold you tight

for i will die without your light

i promised that i'll be true

coz i want to be with you

hey look at me and you will see

what my heart tells me

one of my works… no picture this time… i still don't have enough time to search for some pics… and its still untitled… i want someone particular to be the one to name it… anyway… maybe itll take long again before i can make another post…

loooooooooong wikend…

magtatagalog n lng akoh… xe nman… wala ako sapat ng energy ngaun para magisip ng grammars at spelling… at sobrang late n 2ng post ko n toh grabeh… i think kailangan ko n talaga mag-post or matatabunan p lalo ako ng mga pangyayari s aking life… huhuhuh…

~ Dota session bago lumayo sa kbihasnan ~

ok thursday night… dapat nsa bahay n ko at nagaaus ng gmit pra s darating n program wikend… pero aun nandun p din ako s shop at nakikipagsigawan s mga walangyang tao n nandun… tyempo nga nman… nsimulan kc ng laro kaya derederetso n… d nman kmi masyadong ginabi… kaso 12 am n ata ako nagsimulang mag-aus ng gamit koh… kumusta nman… 5:30 am kmi magkikitakita s plaza… natapos ko nman ung pag-aaus at nkatulog nman akoh ng mga 1 oras ata… sanay nman kaya ok lng…

~ nasan n ang service ride ntin ~

ok d ako nkadting ng 5:30 s miting place… pero sbi up to 6 nman daw eh… so pagdating ko… as usual un p din ung mga taong maaga dumadating… and after 1 hour… wala p service ride nmin… nsan n kau tito… huhuhu… tapos nkarecive kmi ng txt… ncraan daw cla… aun intay uli… sanay nman kmi… kaya medyo ok lng… finally dumating n cla… aalis dpat kmi ng 6-6-30 pero mag-8 n kmi nkaalis… s wakas nagcmula n din kmi malaulau ung destination nmin… jala-jala, rizal (sbi  nga nila dulo daw ng rizal…) enjoy nman on the way eh… puro kalokohan lng ginawa nmin… puro boys kc kmi dun s sasakyan… tsaka enjoy din ngaun lng kc akoh nkapunta s ibang part ng rizal… dmi p din mga puno… para nga kming nsa probinsya (well… probinsya nman talaga rizal…) anyway after almost 2 hours n byahe dumating n kmi s venue…

~ UPA (United Programs Academe) ~

theme ng activity nmin… summer classes… 3 -days kmi dun… d ko n masyadong kwekwento mga ngyari masyadong mahaba eh… wala n kong pera pambayad ng pc… masaya nman cia khit papano… naiwanan ko nga lng toothbrush ko s bahay… (buti n lng 2 dala nung isa nming kasama) basta d best… dpat talaga different post toh eh… kaso kulang lng talaga s time… nkakainis… tsaka kumain akoh dun ng sinigang n sardinas at century tuna n may kamatis,sibuyas at bawang s breakfast(haha… ultimate combo noh… buti talaga may nhiram akong toothbrush…) hmmm… un… d ko alam kung pno ko sasumarize… dmi talaga ngyari… un… enought for that… isa n lng masasabi ko… astig talaga c God!

~ welcome home ~

s wakas… tapos n din ung activity… ang sasakyan ko pauwi ay ang sasakyan nila tito willy… 11 kmi lahat ksama n cla tito at tita… d p gnung kalayo s venue nagstopover muna kmi pra bumili ng foods… at nagulat ako kc ang lki nung c2 n tinitinda nila… kcng laki ng 1.5 n coke… haha nun lng kc ako nkakita nun eh… kaso walang malamig kaya coke-in-can n lng binili koh… okay were back on the road… nagcmula n nman kming magkulitan at mag-agawan ng mp3 players… habang ene-enjoy ko ung mga views kc nsa tabi ako ng windows… binuksan ni tito ung radio… nkakainis lng kc puro old sad songs ung pinapatugtog nung station… (alam ko nman n oldies talaga pag sunday pero nkit nman puro malungkot ung kanta! example: "i did my best but i guess my best wasn't good enough") aun inasar 2loy ako ng bruhang c ate che… e2 n lng nsabi ko s kanya "oo na… bitter n koh…" d lng bitter… bitter n feelingero pa… gudluck n lng… n2log n halos lahat nung kasakay koh… habang iniikot ko ung paningin ko s loob ng sasakyan… ngcng ko ata ung ktabi ko hanggang s nagcng n clang lahat (hahaha… ako b talaga gumcng s inung lahat?…) at bago kmi dumating ng angono… d ko lam kung anu tatawag ko dun eh… meron kcng sound n gnagawa ung isa nming ksama n sobrang nahawa ako… para ciang tawa pero gnito ung sound nia "hoo hoo hoo…" paulit ulit nmin ung gnawa habang nagtatawanan…

~ after UPA ~

ok nsa bahay n din ako… well alam ko n d  din ako makakapagpahinga kc may assembly kmi n gagawin s may 10 at meron kming 3 days pra magprepare… haha… sbi ko dti d ako nag-eenjoy ngaung summer… ngaun halos d n ko mkapag-rest… pero ok lng un…

~ teka anu nga uli tawag d2, E dba? ~

ok so e2 n nman akoh… gus2 ko uli mag-aral mag-gitara… ok seryoso ako ngaun ha… after ng assembly mag-aaral talaga akoh… promise yan… ang nagtuturo skin ung pamangkin kung babae… hahaha… goodluck n lng…

am i crazy?.. or maybe i just need some sleep…

~ Status - Sleep ~

i know im not sleeping regularly this past few days… but what the hell… ive been doing that since April… it started last night… i've felt a not so normal headache that produces a voice telling me that i need some sleep… it was around 8 - 9 pm… yah, it's a normal time to sleep… for a person with normal sleeping time… and im not that normal… i don't want to sleep yet… but i can't stand that damn headache… so i don't have a choice but to sleep… i thought the sleeping spell is finished… but i am wrong… it just continue up to this moment… thus this post is somewhat… full of mistakes and grammatical errors i suppose… but before i go home and have another 12 hours in bed… i still have another thing to write about…

~ the sudden craziness for vanessa hudgens ~ 

ok… well… i'm not a fan of high school musical… the truth is i haven't even watch it… and usually laugh at those people on a certain game message board that have this vanessa hudgens fanbar as their sig… then i pass by her music video of her song "say ok" on our television… and thats it… she just look damn pretty on that video… and now… i call my secret crush by her name… i'm getting more crazy i guess… well anyway… i'll include her music video on this post… then decide if i'm crazy… or shes just really damn pretty…

-random

 ~=Random Thoughts=~

~in my veins runs cola~

this came to my mind after drinking another bottle of 'pop cola' right before midnight… i just realize that i guess i'm becoming more addicted drinking whatever 'softdrinks' i can get from the freezer of our sari-sari store… if i'm not in the mood to control myself… i'll be drinking one every meal… then one more before i go to sleep… then more… i even want to drink more after finishing a bottle… i'm lucky i can still stop myself from indulging too much… and more lucky because it's not those alcoholic drinks which are stored on the same freezer… 

~running away, won't just work~ 

i'm definitely aware of that… it crosses my mind last night, but instead of running… i turn around and try to face the painful(maybe) truth thats waiting for me… but i just don't want to run… leaving all those memories of pains and happiness… our memories?.. is it really the reason why i don't want to give up?.. or i'm just using it to hide that i'm still in love with her… that i still love her after all of those things that she had done in the past… i guess the only way is to run… but not to escape… i'm going to run so i can catch her again… and stop her from running away from me…

~first year on college~

it's like a damn year… wasting my life… my time… i just don't know where to get the inspiration and strength that i need… i felt like i was on my darkest time… not giving a damn about my acads… going to school just to say that i'm going to school… now i'm on the sunset of a dark year… a year of evil things and stupidity… waiting for a new day to start again… to start as a new person… a better one… i wish you're here to enjoy this sunset with me… i never thought it'll be this breathtaking…

~God has set me free~ 

i never felt that way before… he joined me in one of the saddest night that i had faced… it just started by whispering one worship song… before i know it, i'm singing my heart out… songs came after one another… joy overflowed… happiness overthrown my sadness and bitterness… its just… one of those things that words can never explain… my mind was filled with positiveness… i never thought that i'll be sleeping w/ a smile that night…

how long can you carry your cross…

 ~=Chapter 5 Household (April 30, 2007)=~

the activity was held at our house… ehermm… mag tatagalog n nga lng akoh… mas masaya mag kwento ng YFC activities pag tagalog eh… hehe… so aun nga smin ginanap… nkakapanibago xe rare lng n magkaron ng isang activity s bahay… tsaka medyo mdami cla pumunta… d akoh ready n gnun cla kdami dadating… pero mas ok un.. mas maraming pinadala c God… khit medyo magulo ang mainit… ashtig p din… here's the topic n diniscuss nmin…

naglalakad c God at isang guy s isang mahabang daan… like ung mahabang mahaba talaga… then pinadala ni God dun s guy ung cross nia… un dinala nman nung guy… habang sinusundan nia c God… mas lalong bumibigat ung cross n dinadala nia… tapos may mga different things p like nails and thorns ung cross… ang gnawa nung guy binawasan nia ung cross… habang palayo n cla ng palayo tugitigil ung guy pra bawasan ung cross n dnadala nia… then dumating ung point n naisip niang iwanan ung cross… pero naisip nia pinadala s kanya ni God un… kaya tinuloy nia ung pagbubuhat pero binabawasan nia p din ung cross… tumigil c God s harap ng isang cliff… cnbi ni God dun s guy… lagay mo ung cross pra makatawid tau s kbila ng cliff… wala mailagay ung guy kc kakabawas nia nung cross kasya n s palm nia ung buong cross… gnun n kaliit… aun dun n natapos ung story… ang questions ay idescribe mo ung sarili mong cross? and hangang saan mo madadala ung cross mo?..

~= mga reactions at sharings= ~

"don't be depressed, sarili mu lng nman ang kalaban mo eh…"

- gege n nagbabalik

"bkit b tau nabubuhay… bkit b may mundo?.. nabubuhay tayo pra makilala ntin c God…"

- cheche

"swerte akoh dhil d gnun kbigat ung cross koh… kaso isang kamay lng ung gnagamit kung pambuhat… ung isang kamay koh bc s mga walang kwentang bagay… but now i learned to use both of my hands to carry my cross…"

- myself (naks…)

"kung may mkita taung nalaglag n pins or nails… wag mo lng iwasan.. pulutin mo na… kc bka pagbalik mo tsaka mo maapakan…"

- tin tin

"ung cross ko, puno ng pictures ng family, friends at mga k-YFC ko… nilagay un ni God dun pra mapagkuhanan ko ng strenght kapag nghihina n ko…"

- alvin w/ his new hairstyle and guitar

"mahirap sbihin pero hangang makakaya, kakayanin"

- answer halos ng lahat s second question

"khit kunti lng ung food mapagkakasya nmin un… YFC yan eh…"

- me to my mother after ng activity (hahaha)

"nandyan b c vanessa hudgens???"

- sms ko kay ate che after nung activity (hehehe…)

"d n ko nkpagstrum… ang skit n ng kamay ko… hehehe…"

- alvin after ng opening worship (bago nga gitara mo…)

"galingan mo pag bless ng food kuya vj…"

- michael to me bago ako magclose at bless ng food

"ang bait nman ng batang to, mano ng mano…"

- may mother to alvin (aukong maniwala… haha..)